What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

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Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Cliterus

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Every Good Boy Deserves Fibromyalgia

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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What's worse than speaking to a Russian bear? Gettting mauled and eaten by one.

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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