What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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