Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops