roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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