Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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hey im leon and i love the chuckie

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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