How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a blonde on anti-joke? Fairly paranoid because of the typical blonde stereotype.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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Justin Beiber

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they're dead. idiot.

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What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game and wanted to play along.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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where is the world?

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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