Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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knock knock whose there banana banana who well, since a banana is a fruit and not human, it does not have parents and thus no last name was given to it.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

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"You're not very subtle, are you?" asked Nyacinth of the Prince. "Coo-fif," replied the Prince, a sly smile on his face.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Darnell has a 2 ounce gold chain around his neck. Gold is worth $1,639 per ounce. Where did Darnell steal the gold chain from?

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

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who else is on here?

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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How do you get a black man out of his house? you ring the doorbell.

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

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What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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