Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Your mom went to college

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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Hey Babies, The holocaust called, they want their screams back

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Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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if you don't like this you're gay

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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