Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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I walk into a bar...

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Multi Orgasmic Pillow screechers

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What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

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19 roosters walk into a roller coaster

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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