Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

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You might be a redneck if you have red on your neck

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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What is a pirate's favorite color? It depends on the pirate.

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Why was the fat lady on the Medicine ball? Because she was fat!

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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