A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

UN

thumb_up thumb_down +12

haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What's worse than spilling milk all over the floor? A: Cleaning up the milk you spilled all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops