- Anti Joke

Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

Just Replying to Brock Facebook request Brock you should know by now that i am at your school talk to me there. Plus i loved the kiss you gave me in science. Now that tested my chemistry. Hehe. Emma Brown xOxOxOxXXXXXoOOOOO

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

eoin burgin is fat

How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

how to turn invisable. eat yourself

When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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