How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Come right on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red.. Your child is also red.. I drove my car over his face. <3

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A cat playing laser tag.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A terrorist robs a walrus.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

2001, 2 airplains fly into the world trait centers. the pilots then had their licences taken away.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops