Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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What do you get when a white person and a black person make a baby? A possible high functioning member of society.

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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you know its foggy outside when you step outside and its foggy outside.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

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10inch nice

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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nickel back

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops