A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What did the coney say to the hotdog? At least i kill people.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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yo momma's so dumb she attended a dyslexic test and was proven mildly autistic.

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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dry handjob

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That moment when the best part of your life is when you get 50 friends on Facebook....

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two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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Three men walked into a bar. You'd think one of them would of ducked?

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What do you call a black man with a hammer in his head? Dead.

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its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops