(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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LOL we are spamming this site too much!

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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A Jewish man walks by a penny.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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What hapenz when u drnk very hot cup of tea after lunch ............:-> nothing ... Cup becomes empty

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

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69!!! (its funny cause i made a referance to 69)

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At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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What's white, black and tan? The people of planet earth.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are simple-minded creatures and perhaps there was some source of food on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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