What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

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I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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wut du u cull a niggre whos wyte nut a niggre

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A man goes to the potty.

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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a black man walked into a black bar. what color was the bar afterwards? the same color. its a drinking spot not a pole

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ermm Hello ? what about me says rishi with a tear down his eye

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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(Insert joke here)

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? - 2 Whats worse than 2 bee stings? - Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? - 3 bee stings Now, if you are smart, you would notice that no one really alive today was in the Holocaust, therefore you can not make an accurate comparison between bee stings and the millions of Jews being killed. -SPG

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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