Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

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like this if you think what ever you want to..

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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j

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch!

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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-I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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heat!

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

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have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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