What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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The truth is he loves her!!

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

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Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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Jason's Wife said to him I love you before I left to head to work, Jason then went back inside to see no one was there and he remembered his wife died in 2009.

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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