How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Jew walks on his way to work. He does not notice the quarter lying on the sidewalk and did not care for the dollar lying on the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a black man walked into a black bar. what color was the bar afterwards? the same color. its a drinking spot not a pole

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the buffet table? To get to the other sides.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a blond girl walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

thumb_up thumb_down -19

okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did one bean say to the other bean??? hows it been.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What Happened to the man who married a money? He contracted HIV

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops