Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? A:blue

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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H o m o comes out as homo

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

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So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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the blue man livedin the blue house the black man in the black house the white man in the white house but who lived in the white house ,not the white man barack obama

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how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

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Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

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Why did the priest fall onto the alter boy? Because he lost his balance

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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