knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

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Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

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Yo mama is so fat she died

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s

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

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How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

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I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

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Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

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Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

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It said i can write my own joke so i did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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