An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

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Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

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Carrot fingers

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Come on children, don't dawdle.

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

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Your face

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A chicken walks into a barn.

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Error 37.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Why was the redneck so racist? Because he had a severe dislike for the black community.

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Whats better at driving? A pig or a chicken. Neither because they are animals and it is impossible for the to even posses the power of controlling a moving vehicle.

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One girl said to her friends, "LOL guys wait for me." She ran to a pile of corpses. The girl was about to lose her sanity as she was in denial when her friends had died. She held hands of two of the corpses and smiled and pretended everything was ok.

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a woman votes!

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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