Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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Why didn't the black man get the scholarship? Because he didn't apply for it.

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What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black And so was six because they were written with black pen

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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Why did the man starve to death? Because his wife died

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Why did the dyslexic chicken cross the toad? Because the toad mocked his dyslexia, and the chicken does not tolerate rude bastard toads.

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How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get KFC... Because hes a canibal!

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Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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