what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

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whats worse than a dead baby two dead babies what could be worse than that? constapation

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sheriff Sheriff who? Sheriff Robinson your husband has died in a local car accident.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Hitler.

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Which side of an ostrich has the most feathers? Obviously the outside! Who would be so low educated to even have the idea that an ostrich can have feathers on the inside of it's body?

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What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

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What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

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Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

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Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

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What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

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Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops