what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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I used to be an adventurer like you but then i grew old and i never took i single injury unlike my brother he took an arrow to the knee or so he says i asked him to show me and he was all defensive like "whoa man i don't need to prove anything." so i think he's lieing

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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Refrigerator

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What's clear and wet?? Water (I think)

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knock knock who's there bang bang bang bang who where da cash at

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why does it suck to be a black jew you get the back of the oven

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what's black, white, and red all over? a penguin stuck in a blending machine

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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If it bothers you? I am just saying that, fucking alright ill be slightly less cruel, I mean come on! It does not matter shit what others think! If someone ever tries to assault you because you are associated with me (yeah it happens), I will stand in front of you and KILL (and possibly rape) THEM!

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

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What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

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I saw 2 cannibals eating a clown. What did I do? Called the local police.

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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What's the difference between Jew and a bread? Bread does not scream when you put him in oven.

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What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

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Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

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Why was the 3 year old high He was flying

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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