When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

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A black man, a mexican, and a christain are on an island. There are also many other people on the island, since all of North America and South America is one giant land mass.

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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What's big, black, juicy, large, and succulent? A gourmet meatball.

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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The seven dwarves sat around the house feeling Grumpy, so Grumpy left.

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Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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An Irish, an English, a Chinese and a French are together in a boat. And it shows the diversity of our society.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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whats black and blue and has three legs? An abused deformed person.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

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How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops