Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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Sarah Palin

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If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

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What is a bad thing to see and is attached to a boy's body. The middle finger u dumb ass!

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Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

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I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

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There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

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a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops