If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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This comment has been removed for too many average votes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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Have you seen the painting by Stevie Wonder? It's a Monet and this museum's most prized piece. Just kindly ask Mr. Wonder to step aside a bit.

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

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Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

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Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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