You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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what did the alcholic get his children for christman, nothing i lied about the children. Another joke by rangler thumbs up for more.

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

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What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

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what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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