In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

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Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

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run farther?

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Why do vampires drink blood? Maybe if they existed you could ask one.

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A racist guy walks into a bar. Gets drunk, and cracks jokes. Then proceeds to get the shit kicked out of him.

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Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

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What can an elevator do that a mexican can't? Raise a family.

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What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

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why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

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what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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