The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What happened to the white girl who dropped her ice cream? She bought another one.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the answer to number 7 on the test? Time for you to get a watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

rosses are red voilets are pinkey your mams pussy is really stinky

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a hispanic and black man flying a plane? A pilot and his co-pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops