What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

Knock knock. Come in.

Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

Why did it take so long for the baby's to paint my wall? I didn't throw them hard enough.

What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

rishi is gay (coventry england)

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

An Irishman walks out of a bar

What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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