What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

guess what? chicken butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +51

How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

i don't get it...none of these are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

This one time at band camp....

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops