What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

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Q.What do you call a apple with a unibrow? A. A failed science experiment!!!

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Why the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

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What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust. A: Me not getting my Christmas presents.

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Why did the Asian woman drive 20mph on the highway? There was a deadly car accident with many fatalities.

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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a black man a chinese man and a mexican man are all on a plane. they land safely and continue with their lives.

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hi do you like guitars? cool i dont

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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what is the difference between a black person and a little boy with autism .... the boy with autism is smarter with more education than the black person

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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