Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

why do black people hate school? because they have to sit and learn like the rest of us for hours on end

Okay, an ambulance is arriving for me (cops called it whatever I am fine) If you are still reading this then get the fuck out before I fire you no more messages.

We are sorry for being so sorry, and apologize again for apologizing so much... Why wont you just let me apologize? Does this insult you? I apologize. HEY! STOP THAT! I SAID I WAS SORRY SORRY FOR BEING SORRY! FORGIVE ME PLEASE SORRY WHY ARE YOU DRAWING THAT KNIFE OUT OF THE... LISTEN I AM SORRY!!! From my book the boy that cried help too much: The help arrived and the boy was never seen again. TRIPLE POST TO SAY SORRY FOR DOUBLE POSTING! QUADRUPLE POST TO SAY SORRY FOR DOUBLE POSTING...ETC.

I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had places to be

A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

what's worst than being gay? being black

What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

I had a dream, then i died in it and now i'm dead but who cares, how are you ?

a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

Why did the Filipino man get small condoms? Because he's not black.

Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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