What do you call a black man driving a bus? By his name

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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sally stole a t.v what happend next? she was arested

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

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What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

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What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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why did the puppy poop? he had too

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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What is worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? Mount Everest

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I pooped my pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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