roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

Why did the redneck ask his daughter to get on her knees? His shoe was untied.

What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

nba live 13

Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

Snausages.

what did the black man say to the white man? hi

What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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