What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

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look at this bag of air it has some chips in it

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What's red and hurts you? A brick.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Why did the black man order a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken? His wife just died in a tragic car accident and he is a horrible cook.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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What does A duck smoke? Quack

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The original "Chicken cross road" joke is a Anti joke in itself.

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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How do you make a clown sad? You hit him in the face with axe

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

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Yo mama's house is so small that she had to get a better job in order to buy a bigger one.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says"what can i get for you Sarah Jessica Parker"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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