Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whas the difference between a boy going to a camp and a jewish boy going to camp? The jewish boys does not come back.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man is writing with a #2 pencil. He looks down and sees that it says "Made in China." He shrugs and continues writing

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A woman leaves the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the blind man say as he past the fish market? he asked one of the fisherman if they had any fresh catch that day and bout three tuna steaks for his wife and son

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ian is cutie!!!!!;)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Matt is not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

<=-[ J1MMY | Dubstep Maniacs Crew 4 Life ]-=>

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse then finding TWO worms in your apple? The Holocaust, it was pretty bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops