Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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lol a man is drowning

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Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

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What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

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Why did the Jewish boy grab his groin? Because he was just circumcised.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

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whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

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Can you answer one question for me? Yes Thank you

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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And the winner of Miss America 2050 is... Britney Spears!

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Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

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Pen15

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

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Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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