- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

what do u call a black person by his name

What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

A Mexican and a Black man are in a car. Who's driving? The police officer.

How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

Duh, its red not ginger, like really really red... Not unlike my eyes, which is a bit of the reason I dye it., I also use colored contact lenses most of the time now.

your mumma so fat she stepped on the weight scales and it says to be continued

Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

Why was the boy wearing pyjamas? It was his bed time.

What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

A walrus walks into a bar

Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

An Irishman walks out of a bar...