A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

thumb_up thumb_down -1

9/11, Amanda Todd, Adalia Rose, Cancer, Swag, Yolo, Disco, anything Southern, Nazi's, and Police officers walk into a bar Everyone stares because these are mildly offensive things.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are they the "living" daylights?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock! Who's there? Ze Gestapo!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

neil patrick harris

thumb_up thumb_down -1

This is a funny anti-joke. But you probably don't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many rabbits does it take to screw in a light buld? None, it is scientifically impossible for a rabbit to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -3

fatest boner fatest boner fatest boner to adam ramsden

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops