How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? Someone threw a piano at her.

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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One day, John ate some food. He quickly realized he had an upsetting feeling in his stomach, so he stopped eating food and used the restroom. Then he drew a picture.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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What is worse than finding a worm in ur apple Idk I am asking u

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Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

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A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

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you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!

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Knock knock Who's there Interrupting camel (Interrupt with nothing) Camels can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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