A man walks into a bar and says "ouch."

what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

96

Random Guy: "Oh god, why was I born with so much common sense?" God: "You must be mistaken, or else you wouldn't be asking me."

what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

I have a black guy in my family tree? Yea, his still hanging their

Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

Women.

How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

Why did the bus crash? The driver was a tomato.

What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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