you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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Potato.

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Okay, one second.

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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what's shaped like a tree? a tree

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Abe Lincholn had a son :) But he died |:

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Get in the Batmobile.

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There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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