A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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What happens when you stab yourself in the heart? You die.

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John. John Anderson. Dude we've been friends since first grade! You really don't remember me? I'm going home!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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Your mom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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women's rights

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I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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