A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

I have two hands. Some people dont.

What's funny about 4 black people going off a cliff in a Cadillac? Nothing. You're adopted

Why was the women out of the kitchen? She felt the desire to relax after a day of work...

What do you call a black person with food stamps? A freeloader.

Why did sally fall off the wings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there NOT SALLY HAHAHAHA LOVE YOU JK

Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

Stephen Walking.

Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

Whats worse then being raped? Nothing it will ruin your life.

What did the black man say to the Mexican? What a fine day it is!

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...