(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

Society.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

Matt Damon

What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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