Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

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How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

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Meow.

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who is the wildest wild one? matt daly

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

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Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

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roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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what was hitlers rap album called? straight outta mein kampfton

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Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

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Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

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Knock knock What

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your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would? Probably a lot of wood.

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What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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What is cold? Winter

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The 19th Amendment

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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